There is a lot of pressure to drink in college. Normal-seeming sociopathic men rape women incapacitated by alcohol. The best defense is not to drink. Not drinking also helps with grades. It’s a simple lesson that is difficult to get across. Students need more support from peers and college administrations to socialize without drinking.
I am not blaming the victim, just advocating ways to avoid becoming one. A friend of mine who is a mother of 4 and a college administrator had this to say: “I am getting SO. MUCH. CRAP. for pointing this out. A further point is that by implying that people with vaginas are somehow incapable of protecting themselves from people with penises, we are effectively infantilizing supposedly adult women, and taking away their sexual agency.”
It took me till about age 45 and seeing a friend die of cancer to come to the realization that I didn’t have to pretend to like drinking, didn’t have to drink, didn’t have to drink to accommodate other people who were uncomfortable if they were drinking and I wasn’t, and in general could simply chose to live my life without that and let other people adapt to me on that score. I think if more students, especially Freshman, were given support and guidance to make that kind of decision, i.e. if the pressures were taken away and mitigated and ways of thinking and living were made more possible that didn’t involve lots of drinking, that a significant percentage of students would take the opportunity.