I just saw the new “Star Wars”


First impressions:

Really great return to the spirit of the 1977 first Star Wars movie.


I’m so glad Lucas sold this to Disney.  Lucas intentionally lowered the mental age of the movies to the 8-10 year old range for the sequels so he could sell Ewok


and Jar-Jar dolls.


The result was cringe-worthy and dull.  The J.J. Abrams rendition is refreshing.

Princess Leia.




Now she looks like Kate Mulgrew in Orange Is The New Black.


I guess it can’t be helped.  My hair is gray now too.  Was 1977 so long ago?


Luke Skywalker.


Okay….in the final big reveal, he looks like a middle-aged insurance salesman having a mid-life crisis.


Not quite sure what to do.  Get divorced?  Start drinking?  Take up golf?  Go to a swinger’s club for the first time?  He just doesn’t know.   And now here’s this girl trotting up the steps with his old pointy stick.  Hmm. Does this mean he has to go back to work?

Luke again.  What does he have for breakfast, after climbing all those steps?  Where are the chickens?  Does he tend to them when he’s not brooding on his front porch?

All of them.  Does anyone in Star Wars ever poop?  Has that ever been alluded to even once in 7-odd films?



2 thoughts on “I just saw the new “Star Wars”

  1. I gave it a five at IMDB, but the more I think about it the less I like it and the less sense es macht. I don’t really want to rain on anyone’s parade or reveal too much for now. That said the next two episodes are pretty obvious. My guess is that Luke won’t die until the last one. Anyway, this episode should’ve ended with Rey going to light speed in the Falcon.

    And why was Maz in Phantom Menace?


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